Wake Me Up
by Stained Blue
Summary: Feeling my way through the darkness, Guided by a beating heart. I can't tell where the journey will end, But I know where to start.


Title: Wake Me Up  
Pairing: Lilly/Scotty  
Note: I don't own; these characters are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer (like practically everything in media). Enjoy.

He had never known anyone like her. She was flawed and broken, pieced back together and barely holding it together. But she still managed to bring closure, help people move on, and bring the bad guys in to atone. And he loved her.

But Lilly…she never loved him back.

It wasn't like he was blind. He knew that she had been hurt, her heart broken before, and that she was wary. She didn't trust as easy as she could have. But sometimes, if he was lucky and caught her off guard, glancing at her out of his peripheral, he could see some emotion skating on the surface of her eyes when she looked at him. And that was enough.

They loved one another, in their own little way. She trusted him as best she could, and he trusted her explicitly. He wouldn't have it any other way than right behind her on her personal crusade to almost single handedly bring closure to the families and friends who had loved and lost, their loved ones having slipped through the crack of the legal system.

Their feelings danced around the others, and they toyed at being more than friends. But she always backed out at the last moment. Every time he began to make a breakthrough, the walls around her heart came up thicker than before.

And then he got all wrapped up in Christina. What a mistake. He had known it from the beginning, sitting there in the bar watching her make eyes at him. He had known it. He had looked at her and seen trouble. But he had also seen someone who could help him forget.

But she wasn't Lilly.

No matter how tightly he closed his eyes when he kissed her, touched her, loved her, he knew she was Christina.

When Lilly finally wizened up, the trouble he had seen coming from weeks careened into his life. He knew the exact moment because she suddenly stopped talking, her blue eyes turning to ice whenever she looked at him, and Christina was crashing at his house.

Sure, the sex was good but he knew it wasn't worth it in the long run. It wasn't worth the Ice Queen façade that Lilly was giving him. It wasn't worth the way it felt like his heart was caving in every time she brushed him off. It wasn't worth the hurt he saw blossom in her eyes every single time she looked away and thought he couldn't see.

He confronted her, trying to get her to react to him. Instead, she bristled up and acted like everything was fine, like she wasn't ignoring him. They both said some things, hurtful things, in the lobby of the precinct.

She had been so close to him, her face tilted up toward him. He had been struck, like always, at how pretty she was, like a doll. A strand of hair had fallen in her face, and he wanted to brush it away. But those blue eyes were glaring at him, the hurt burning through the ice of her gaze. And her lips had been set in her anger.

And God, how he had wanted to kiss her. To just lift a hand and cup her head, bring his mouth down to hers, to taste that fire and warm that ice. To sear his mouth to hers and promise her everything.

But the moment had broken, and she had left. And he had gone home to sulk.

Now, sitting on his couch, he flipped through channels. He had come home to an empty apartment. Christina had gone somewhere, and he couldn't bring himself to untangle his heart from the thoughts of Lilly to give a damn. Instead he just sulked on the couch in his pajamas of sweatpants and thin shirt, watching blurry, colorful pictures flash past on the screen of his television set.

A knock on the door had him on his feet, moving silently across his cool floor in bare feet. He couldn't be bothered to check the peephole, assuming it was his takeout, and instead just tugged the door open. And those icy blue eyes lifted to his, and those soft red lips quirked upward just barely at the corners.

"Hey," Lilly said softly, lifting a bottle of red wine. He could see hope on her face, tinting her eyes. And he smiled. "Hey," and he stepped back, letting her step into his apartment.

"'Scuse the mess, Lil. I wasn't expecting any company." He moved into the kitchen and hunted through his cabinets for suitable wine glasses. There were none. He frowned before settling for a couple of tumblers. Turning back toward her, he smiled again at the sight of her in his apartment.

She was settled at the kitchen bar, her fingers curled around the base of the wine bottle. He leaned over the counter space and tugged the bottle from her hands. She lifted her gaze and offered him an almost smile. He popped the cork and poured them both a healthy dose of wine. He watched her gulp the sweet wine, her mouth curved to the rim of the glass like a kiss. He wanted to say so much, but didn't. He was too afraid to possibly break the fragile truce that seemed to have appeared between them like a wild animal.

Sipping slowly at his wine, he let the sweet taste of currants and grapes roll over his tongue. He watched her eyes dart about his apartment and placed his glass down. "She's ah…she's not here." Lilly nodded and placed her glass down too. He noticed her lips were stained red, and he knew they would be sweet. Like the wine.

He topped off both their glasses before sliding around the bar to sit next to her. Their shoulders brushed just barely. "I've missed you," he said softly, staring into the dark, ever changing red of his wine. She laughed breathlessly, "How? I've been within touching distance of you for like the last two days." He smiled at her, "Kinda hard to get close when you're pulling your Ice Queen act."

She laughed again and drained her glass, shaking her head. "No idea what you're talking about." He laughed and leant forward to grab the bottle, setting it down in between them before draining his glass and refilling both tumblers. They clinked the rims together before drinking deeply.

They sat together like comrades in a bar, not quite touching but sharing space. He kept filling their glasses, and they always toasted a new drink with that soft clink of glass against glass. He watched the bottle slowly empty, bleeding out into their glasses, and he could feel his courage mounting. The moment had been so long in coming.

He filled their glasses for the last time, the bottle having finally run dry, and they clinked their glasses against one another. They drained the sweet red liquid before slamming their tumblers back on the counter space. "Lilly…"

Taking a deep breath, he turned just enough, and she turned to meet him. Her eyes were barely glossy with the effects of the wine, and he knew he wasn't much better. He could feel the alcohol like cotton around his brain. Her knees fit between his like a puzzle piece.

Slowly, he lifted a hand and cupped her cheek and jaw, holding her in place as he leant in toward her. He could feel her pulse fluttering erratically beneath his pinky and ring finger. His nose gently brushed hers, and he could feel her trying to pull away. He could smell her breath escaping her stained lips in a sweet waft of grapes and currants and sugar when her lips parted to speak.

"Scotty…we can't…Christina…" He could feel her hand pressing tentatively on his chest, as though she couldn't make up her mind whether to push him away or pull him closer. He leaned in closer, his lips barely a breath's width away. "She's not you." And he crushed his lips against hers, her mouth falling open almost automatically, and he could taste the sweetness of the wine lingering in her mouth.

Her fingers knotted in his shirt, hauling him closer, and his free arm wrapped snugly around her waist. The cotton twined about his thoughts from the alcohol thickened and became wool, and everything broke down in his world.

All that existed was her sweet mouth, her fingers clinging to him as if she was drowning.

He existed through that kiss. Foregoing breathing to prolong the feeling of her lips pressing hard against his, her tongue sliding slickly against his, her teeth gently clinking against his.

Finally, she drew back and drew in a shuddering breath. He gasped in a lungful of air, feeling his pulse pound in his ears and his heart racing in his chest. "Scotty..." she started in, her eyes searching his. He offered her a soft smile, "Lilly…I ah…I love you."

He could feel her breath against his wet mouth. "I ah…I gotta go Scotty…" She tugged free of his grip, and he could see the panic setting in. Slowly she made her way toward the front door, taking extra time and caution to be steady on her feet. "You don't have to be afraid of me, Lilly. I won't hurt you."

She stopped with her hand on the doorknob and glanced over her shoulder. The almost-smile was a hurt one, and it stabbed at his heart. "You already had Scotty." She tugged open the door, and he watched her leave, the door closing softly behind her.

Finally, he just let his drop down on the countertop with a hollow thump. "Tomorrow is going to be so awkward," he mumbled to himself.


End file.
